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All the Nathaniel and Deidre You Want in a Single Collection

October 6th, 2014 No comments

Announcing: The Vampire’s Housekeeper Chronicles, Volume One

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Cover, The Vampire's Housekeeper Chronicles

Stay strong Deidre!

Deidre finds herself out of a job, out of luck, and out of time. The rent is past due, and the list of her employable skills is smaller than her checking account balance. Hope comes in the form of Betsy Riddle of the Bullseye Employment Agency who gives Deidre one shot at staying out of a fast food restaurant uniform. A mysterious gentleman with certain “peculiarities” is seeking a housekeeper. Deidre squeezes into her only nice pair of slacks, tames her wild orange hair, and starts off for the job interview that will either change her life….or end it. Thus begins Deidre’s hilarious adventures as the housekeeper of a cranky vampire. Nathaniel is unliving proof that  tempers don’t always sweeten with age. He stubbornly clings to his gramophone, insists on wearing a cape to meet guests, considers the television to be “witch magic,” and gets murderous when his prune juice runs low. The Vampire’s Housekeeper Chronicles, Vol. 1 includes five  fast-paced and humorous short stories and a novella that follow Deidre as she struggles to keep on the right side of her boss’s fangs, clean a haunted mansion where the walls bleed on a daily basis, and catch the eye of a certain hunky wereferret. Filled with a kaleidoscope characters from inept poltergeists, smelly zombies, chatty ninjas, obese werefrogs, and senior citizen vampire hunters…this series has it all! Each story builds upon the last, adding more laughs, more action, and more adventure to Deidre’s world. Deidre is an unlikely, enjoyable, and very human heroine who proves that being a vampire’s housekeeper doesn’t have to suck.  Don’t miss out on a single story in The Vampire’s Housekeeper Chronicles  series with this great  collection.

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The Shy Writer’s Guide To Dealing With Constructive Criticism

September 26th, 2014 No comments

Plenty of people have decried the softening of our society. How every kid gets a star and a trophy and a medal and a pony just for finishing the one mile fun run. But the truth is, there is still plenty of criticism in the world, and despite our backpacks full of trophies and ribbons and our massive armies of ponies, most of us run into criticism on a fairly regular basis.

Let me just throw this revolutionary observation out there – criticism sucks. Especially constructive criticism. Plain old criticism can usually be dismissed, but constructive criticism is your friends and family actually trying to help you by pointing out that you really shouldn’t be wearing those jeans, or keeping all your ponies indoors has made your home an inhospitable sty that everyone loathes to visit.

Constructive criticism, at least the kind that comes from those who really care, is especially cutting because it’s usually true and it comes from someone that actually matters to you.

I’m pretty sure that everyone has trouble with criticism, but for shy people it’s even worse. We tend to ever so slightly blow things out of proportion.

A boyfriend will say, “I’d appreciate it if you could clean your dirty dishes” and what you hear is, “Your failure to clean your own dishes bespeaks a fundamental flaw in your personality. You disgust me, and I disavow you as a human being. Please leave and find a family of gorillas to live with. You’ll be among your own people then.”

Unfortunately for those of us who are thin-skinned, we actually need constructive criticism in order to grow and improve. Think of it this way, if you get something caught in your teeth, wouldn’t you want a good friend to take you aside and mention it? Sure, it makes you a little embarrassed, but it’s so much better than coming home after a dinner party and seeing your entire salad in the mirror when you smile.

As a writer, I need feedback to improve my stories and novels. Flattery and compliments are awesome. Really, really awesome. But constructive feedback is even better. I need to know if a reader gets confused anywhere in the book. I want to know if they have a strong negative reaction where I wasn’t intending. It’s important for my critique partners and beta readers to let me know if they are interpreting a character’s actions, personality, or motivation in a way that I did not foresee.

It’s not fun to hear that one of my critique partners hated my character or thought a chapter was really bland, but I know my critique partner has my best interests at heart. If she finds issues in my writing, chances are future readers are going to stumble at the same places, and they won’t be so forgiving or supportive.

At some point, you need to accept constructive criticism, even invite it.

Now the caveats.

You’ll notice that I’ve been using the term “constructive criticism.” Constructive as in “meant to help” not “beat the living crap out of your self-esteem.” Bear in mind that not all constructive criticism is equal. People who outright criticize are usually bullies. Most bullies aren’t that smart, successful, or generally happy with their lives. Pay them no heed.

There are, however, some smart bullies. These are the ones you need to watch out for. They get their kicks by cloaking their attack in the form of constructive criticism. By claiming they have your best interests at heart, they then give themselves free reign to unleash criticism which may be cruel, unfair, and definitely unhelpful.

There are even those who are truly trying to help, but who are flat out wrong. Remember that everyone has a bias, and we all tend to skew toward the status quo of their upbringing, religious beliefs, and what feels “safe” to us. They may not like the way you dress because it’s not the way they would dress, or they may not like your romance book because they hate all things romance.

When seeking constructive criticism, choose your sources wisely. Let these people guide you and help you along your life’s journey. Try and ignore all the rest. If you ever have doubts about anyone, try to figure out their motivation. If they feed off of human tears, then they are probably not the best people to be taking advice from.

I know this sounds like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised at how easy it is to let criticism get to us, especially us shy people.  Which is why we need to learn to deal with criticism. So, I’ve come up with a few better tactics, though crying is always on the table as a last result:

Vet Your Sources

I’ve made it a policy to only care about criticism and opinions that come from carefully vetted sources. These are people who have shown that they are not insane, not mean hearted and who usually take up to 3+ seconds to think before opening their mouths.

I have a carefully guarded inner circle. Membership is somewhat tough to get, but once you’re in, you’re in. This distinction makes it easier for me to turn off all the noise outside. It’s not always easy, but put up velvet ropes around your self-esteem. Create a guest list. Put some beefy, mean-looking body guards at the door and don’t let in any party crashers.

Play nice

I try to be respectful and nice to others. I find that if you aren’t a total jack ass all the time, most people will give you a fair shake. There are always exceptions, but, for the most part, you get out what you put in. Stand up to the bullies, but play nice with everyone else. You don’t have to point out people’s flaws unless they ask or unless you really think they’re hurting themselves.

You know that golden rule thing? It’s gold for a reason.

Know Your Flaws

A little introspection can go a looooong way towards protecting yourself from the outside world. Take a look at yourself and recognize those things you still need to work on or those things that you just plain suck at.

I am terrible at directions. Terrible. It’s practically a handicap. I know this about myself. I grudgingly accept it (not hard when I get lost almost every day). Once you accept a flaw, you disempower those who would wield it against you.

If you accept that you’re overweight or have acne or happen to get lost going to a place you’ve been at least ten times (I was coming from a different direction!), then when people point this out to you, you’re already prepared.

Get A Little Love

Nothing salves criticism like a little positive reinforcement. Make sure you have a supportive circle of family and friends around you and a supportive spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. These need to be people who will accept you even if your feet smell on occasion, you get fired from your job, or lock your keys in your car. Just knowing that you are loved and accepted unconditionally will give you untold strength.

I’m not sure that it is possible to stress this enough. Besides your soul/you-ness and those innate passions and talents that give you bliss, your relationships are the most valuable asset you have in your life. They are more important than money, than success, than winning the “greatest person in the known universe” award.

Keep good people around you. Period. They protect you. They bandage your little internal hurts. Hugs heal self-esteem.

Cry

Yeah, go ahead and cry when you get an especially hard jab, but I highly recommend crying privately in the comfort of your own home. Crying in public makes everything worse, hurts your reputation as a person who is not a total sissy, and makes lots of people really uncomfortable. Excuse yourself politely and then weep soulfully into your pillow. It will help in the short term, but start building up your walls, coating your skin with some layers of sealant, and then consider where the criticism is coming from.

Also, never let the fear of criticism stop you from taking a risk. This is so much easier said than done, but it’s still good advice. If you let fear of criticism stop you from doing that amazing thing you’ve been dreaming of, you’ll regret it forever and ever.

Publishing my first novel was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. So was telling my friends and family about it. But I did it. Now I have three books and a handful of short stories out on the public market — poor, vulnerable little eggs that anyone with an Amazon account can smash to pieces. It’s scary as hell, but I’ve got my velvet ropes up, my body guards in place, and a big fluffy pillow to cry into if need be.

Bring it on.

Categories: Essay, Shyness, Taking Risks Tags:

Why I Wrote A Series About A Cranky, Old, Unattractive Vampire — Behind The Scenes With The Vampire’s Housekeeper Chronicles

September 17th, 2014 No comments
Nathaniel, The Vampire's Housekeeper Chronicles

Not so sparkly, but I love Nathaniel anyway.

I am getting ready to compile all the short stories in my The Vampire’s Housekeeper Chronicles series into a single collection, and I thought readers might be interested to learn where the idea for this series came from. I’ll ruin the surprise – it was Twilight. But here’s the full story…

Vampires had it good for a couple of centuries. They inspired fear, pants wetting, and lots of running around and screaming like a boob. They were cruel, deliciously vicious, and powerful…and then Twilight came along.

With this single book, vampires left the realm of nightmares and became squarely lodged into the stuff of tween girl daydreams. CW’s Vampire Diaries has only thrown gasoline onto the tragic fire of hunky, sensitive, and people-eating free vampire mythology.

My sister and I email each other back and forth every day, because apparently email is our crack. About two years ago, my sister headlined an email with this complaint: “I hate that vampires are all total wusses now!”

My response was, “If you were over 100 years old, why in the world would you want to spend your immortal afterlife in high school?”

How could a 100+ year-old vampire not get bored out of his mind and fed up with all the stupid dramatics of high school? There are obvious physical reasons why a vampire might be attracted to a high school girl, but what could they possibly talk about? [Insert joke about how talking isn’t necessary for certain activities].

“And how would a vampire even be able to keep up with the times? I just learned how to use Siri, and I was born in the last century,” I wrote to my sister. “How could someone who grew up with steam engines and telegraphs understand iTunes, texting, and the resurgence of Weird Al Yankovic?”

Thus an idea was born…an idea to write about a vampire who was not handsome, not sparkly, not fascinated by the vacant minds of high school girls, and who definitely could not flawlessly keep up with the rapid pace of technological innovation.

For the next couple of days, I started each email to my sister with an ongoing story of a luckless college grad who finds herself out of a job and lacking in useful job skills. When she goes to an employment agency for help, she is sent on an interview for a housekeeping position at a haunted mansion where her perspective boss…isn’t exactly a vegetarian.

Deidre and Nathaniel were born. That first story was completely random, a little bit of cheek that stemmed from my desire to write a different type of vampire. What I didn’t realize at the time was that the story fulfilled another need I have always wanted to explore as a writer – writing a different type of protagonist.

Deidre is so far from the wispy, damsel-in-distress Bella, that she might as well live on a totally different planet. Deidre is overweight, self-conscious, funny, loyal, and pragmatic. She sees the world with a wry sense of humor and a certain stoic acceptance of her messy and chaotic existence.

That first story was such fun to write that I kept the narrative going into a second chapter, which would eventually become The Vampire Hunter Comes to Call. About the time I finished up the third installment (eventually Duel with the Werefrog), I realized that I really liked Nathaniel, Deidre, Dex, and Sloppy Joe (who was originally named High Man until my sister pointed out the similarity between his name and a certain part of the female anatomy).

The stories needed a lot of polish from their original email serial form, but with a little elbow grease, Deidre’s world started to come to life (or afterlife). I loved writing the first six stories in this series. With each story, Deidre’s world got a little bigger and more complex. Over the course of the series, Drew has turned into a reoccurring character, as have Nathaniel’s bingo buddies.  I’m excited to introduce a very intriguing character – Hunter Gulliver Graves – in the novella that completes the first volume of this series. (Apprenticeship With A Vampire is now available!) I love all the silly and improbable situations Deidre finds herself in and all the jokes the ghosts play on her. However, I believe each story also contains a little bit of Deidre wisdom tucked beneath the top layer of humor. I hope readers get this and enjoy a story that can be both silly and a tiny bit serious at the same time.

The Vampire’s Housekeeper Chronicles, Volume One will launch on October 1st, so if you haven’t tried the series yet, get ready for this very non-Twilight vampire series.

Buying My First Home Has Taught Me That I’m Not Always Excellent At Life

September 7th, 2014 No comments
Female hand reaching for a house isolated on a white background.

Being an agile life leopard requires more than getting your oil changed on time.

As an adult I’ve been living for years under the embarrassingly wrong-headed (but kind of adorable) assumption that I’m decent at life. Not great, mind you, but I’ve got the swing of things. Routine and practice has insidiously bred false confidence. I totally have checking email, getting my oil changed, and setting up online banking accounts down. I am queen of the universe!

As a child and uber sulky teenager, I was constantly faced with new experiences that reminded me quite clearly that I was not an agile life leopard. I remember, all too clearly, misaligning my car the first time I tried to enter an automatic car wash, desperately feeding empty envelopes into the ATM because it was making a whirrrring noise (note: Banks are really unhappy if you feed blank envelopes into the ATM), and nearly hyperventilating when trying to navigate the Atlanta airport alone on my first business trip.

At this point in my life, I feel like I “get it.” I don’t mean to humble brag, but I’ve got a few good crock pot recipes up my sleeve, have managed to automate about 90% of my online bill pay, and I even paid my taxes two weeks before the deadline this year. So you can see where all the false confidence starts seeping in, right?

But recently I embarked on a strange and perilous journey filled with frustration, maddening costs labeled “Document Signing Fee to Escrow,” and forced inner reflection. I am buying my first home.

And guess what? Turns out that I’m not as awesome at life as I thought.

My whole house buying issue is really about the fact that I don’t actually know how to make such a big decision. When my real estate agent opens up a door, I wander in trying to look confident as I glance at empty rooms and wonder, what am I supposed to feel? My agent will point to towards the ceiling and chirp about crown molding, and I’ll nod like, of course I totally know what that is and care deeply about it.

This is going to be the biggest purchase I make to date in my life. It’s going to turn into the place where I write, where I sleep, where I wonder important things like – how can sea water really be bad for you when our bodies need both water and salt? (Seriously, think about it.) A considerable chunk of the hours I work will go towards keeping this house in my possession. I will voluntarily agree to pay property tax, HOA fees, homeowner’s insurance, and an insane amount of interest along the way.

All of these thoughts keep playing in my mind as I wander from house to house thinking, How will I know it’s the one? Will a little bell go off somewhere in my brain? Please let there be some kind of internal perfect house-within-my-budget bell in my brain.  

One upside to this whole house hunting experience is that it has lodged me out of my usual comfort zone. The queen of the universe has retired her crown…at least for now! I think that’s a good thing.

Categories: Uncategorized Tags:

Why I Would Be A Terrible Green Lantern

September 1st, 2014 No comments
Green Lantern Logo

Way too heroic for me.

My sister – the librarian – is a huge comic book nerd. Apparently graphic comic novels are a big thing at her library, and she’s jumped in with both booted feet and cape billowing dramatically behind her. Growing up, I was a big X-Men fan (Storm forever!), but I’ve only dipped my toe in the vast comic universe.

Recently, my sister turned me onto a Green Lantern cartoon on Netflix called Green Lantern: The Animated Series. The show only lasted a single season, but I found it amusing.

Watching the cartoon, I discovered that the Green Lantern world is pretty complicated. You see, Green Lanterns aren’t the only guys (and girls) flying around with extra special power rings on their fingers. There are also Red Lanterns who are fueled by rage, Blue Lanterns fueled by hope, Pink Lanterns (Star Sapphires) fueled by love, and even Yellow Lanterns fueled by fear. Oh, and one dopey Orange Lantern fueled by avarice. Yes, avarice, because apparently just saying “greed” wasn’t fancy enough.

Every Lantern charges their extra special power ring by shoving their hand into a lamp-shaped battery and chanting a nifty little ditty that often rhymes. The Green Lanterns – fueled by willpower – say:

“In brightest day, in blackest night,

No evil shall escape my sight.

Let those who worship evil’s might

Beware my power–Green Lantern’s light!”

 

Red Lanterns (the guys with anger management issues) go with this gentle little lullaby:

“With blood and rage of crimson red,

Ripped from a corpse so freshly dead,

Together with our hellish hate,

We’ll burn you all–that is your fate!”

 

My personal favorite is the orange greedy guy who chants:

“What’s mine is mine and mine and mine.

And mine and mine and mine!

Not yours!”

 

That’s pretty awesome, right?

One other thing that you should know about the Lantern Core is that the ring chooses you. In order to be a Lantern, you must already embody the characteristic of the ring: willpower, rage, hope, (sigh) avarice, etc… in order to earn the coveted ring.

Watching this cartoon, I realized that if I were a kid I would totally, utterly want an extra special power ring. I mean, come on, you put on the ring and you immediately get an awesome costume, get to fly around space, get to be all glowy and cool, and you can use the ring’s power to create whatever your mind can imagine, like a glowing chainsaw, a glowing Ferrari, a glowing box of calorie-free donuts. (I’ve never seen a Lantern make a glowing box of calorie-free donuts, but I bet it could be done.)

I can totally picture my child self sitting on my bed, staring longingly out the window waiting, hoping, praying for a little ring to come sailing my way. But what color would that ring be? Looking over the list of ring characteristics, I realize that none of them truly fits me.

I would love to believe that I could be a Green Lantern fueled by willpower, but that just isn’t me. To me, willpower equates with dramatic heroics. Hal Jordan, the main Green Lantern showcased in the series, is a little too heroic for my taste. He constantly takes huge risks in order to save the day, which is great…when it works out. In the cartoon — surprise, surprise — his crazy plans nearly always work despite the odds, or he gets saved by a massive stroke of luck at the last minute.

Watching this cartoon, I’ve come to realize that I’m just way too pragmatic to be a Green Lantern. If the odds were stacked against me, I’d turn tail and live to fight another day. So, if I’m not made to be a Green Lantern, a Red Lantern, an Orange Lantern, a Pink Sapphire, a Blue Lantern, or any of the other colorful offshoots zipping around the galaxy, what’s left?

After a relatively short amount of thought, I’ve decided to create my own Lantern Core.

Introducing the Teal Lanterns fueled by pragmatism. The color teal combines Blue (hope) and Green (willpower) and tempers it with Yellow (fear) for an individual that seeks to do what is right but also stays firmly planted in a reality where good and evil aren’t always clear cut and where risks should be mitigated to accomplish the greater good. The Teal Lantern Core would compromise, they would run when a battle was unwinnable, they would make tough, sometimes unheroic decisions in order to achieve an outcome that every side could live with. Sure, we wouldn’t be as heroic as the Green Lantern Core, as sexy as the Pink Sapphires, as positive as the Blue Lanterns, or as bad ass as the Red Lanterns, but I think the world needs the power of Pragmatism.

I even made up a little battery charging oath for my new Lantern Core:

Know when to run, know when to fight

We see beyond black and white

Many roads lead to right

I choose the best path by Pragmatic Light!   

What do you think? Anyone else want to be a Teal Lantern with me?

Why I Am Giving Away Over Two Years Of My Effort For Free

August 23rd, 2014 No comments
Cover of Falling, Girl With Broken Wings

This Baby Is Now Free!

A lot of writers will go into dramatics about how hard it is to write a novel. When they get really amped up on metaphor crack, they reel off the bodily fluids that went into creating the novel, including blood, sweat, tears, manna of the soul, etc…

The truth is that writing isn’t always hard. Some writers can dash off ten books a year with nary a speck of sweat on their upper lip. Other writers scrape and strive and snivel for ten years to eke out that magical manuscript. It all depends on the writer and the circumstance.

My first novel, FALLING, took me over two years to write. Scratch that. It took me approximately six months to write and then about triple that time to edit it into shape. This novel was hard. The first usually is. I started it with no plan about how it was going to end, no character sketches, no brilliant plot twist looming in the wings. All I had was a scene seared into my brain of a girl standing over the bed of her sleeping brother doing everything she could not to reach out and drain his energy.

From that dubious starting point, FALLING slowly formed…and reformed…and reformed as I fought the plot, the chapters, and the words into something worth reading. I remember writing and rewriting the same sentence, quibbling over specific words, changing chapter formats, and begging more and more people to read it and give me feedback.

No blood was spilled writing this novel, but at times I felt like I was leaving a piece of my soul on the pages.

This week, I set FALLING for free on Amazon. This is not a short-term promotion. FALLING will stay free, at least for the time being.

I thought long and hard about this move. Something deep inside of me rebelled against the idea of giving away FALLING and all the hours, all that mental energy, away for nothing. That part of me asked, “Do you value your writing, your talent, and hundreds of hours of your time so little that you have to give your book away just to get people to read it?”

But in the end, I decided to go with free for one specific reason. I want people to read my books. In today’s world, attention is a rare commodity and Amazon is stuffed to the gills with books for readers to choose from. Each available book requires hours of a reader’s time. That’s a big investment aside from the book’s cost. No wonder so many readers stick with their favorite authors or only choose proven best-sellers, those “hot” titles that all their friends and Oprah are talking about.

I’ve decided that my primary goal as a writer is to introduce people to my books. Making a profit is secondary. To forward this goal, I need to lower the barriers – lower the risk – as much possible for the reader. I’ve already written what I believe is an engaging, touching, amusing, and high quality book. I’ve also tried hard to give readers a true taste of the book in the description, which includes caveats about the book’s violence and language to help a reader make an informed purchase decision. The final thing I can do was eliminate any financial risk.

Of course, I have a second agenda. My hope is that a reader will see FALLING as a low-risk time investment, read the book, love it, and then purchase the following books in the series. If this happens, then FALLING will act as a hook, the freebie that sucks readers into the series and hopefully turns them into fans for life.

At the very least, I can say that I’ve done what I can to invite readers into the series.

Visit Amazon, Kobo, or Smashwords to download FALLING for free. Enjoy!

Fun With Overlapping Narratives

August 2nd, 2014 No comments

Every story presents its unique challenges. Sometimes the plot hits a brick wall and I stare helplessly at my computer, at that last lonely sentence waiting for a mate. Other times the characters pull against their leashes, and we have to trek down mysterious paths together.

My current project, RECOVERING, led me to a different puzzle. This novella overlaps the first half of my novel RISING and is written from the foul-mouthed point of view of my character Gabe. The whole reason that Gabe insisted I write the novella in the first place is that he only makes a short cameo in the first half of RISING.

Roughly 90% of his novella covers new ground, but several early chapters in the novella play out events that are featured in RISING when Maya briefly returns home and interacts with Gabe. In essence I had to write the same scenes over that already exist from Maya’s point of view – same action, same dialogue – but infuse it with Gabe’s perspective.

Sounds easy, right?

Not exactly. To get the scenes just right, I had to carefully reconstruct them from the chapters of RISING, reading and re-reading those chapters as if they were under a microscope.

When I wrote the same scenes for RECOVERING, I had to force myself out of Maya’s guilt and concern and put myself in Gabe’s shoes to show his loneliness and self-loathing. I had to write from his sense of betrayal, shame, and anger using the same dialogue and the same scene structure that already existed.

This little experiment forced me to focus more on Gabe’s inner thoughts to make the scenes seem fresh and also to change the pacing of the scenes so that it wasn’t a rote rehearsal of the scenes found in RISING. For example, Gabe often summarizes longer bits of dialogue that Maya’s narrative in RISING recalls in full. Gabe’s focus will also emphasize different parts of the scene. He doesn’t notice the sad state of the house as much as Maya does. He also thinks a lot about his mother and sister, people Maya never met.

On the technical side, I ended up putting the text of RISING on one monitor and the overlapping text of RECOVERING on the other to make sure every word of dialogue matched up, that the timing of events was accurate, and that Gabe reacted outwardly in the way Maya observed in RISING.

I hope the result is a fresh take on Maya and Gabe’s interactions that doesn’t feel stale or repetitive. I have to believe that Gabe is such a charmer that his perspective can put a new twinkle on everything!

How do you think I did? HERE is a chapter from RISING and an overlapping chapter from RECOVERING. Enjoy the sneak peek of RECOVERING!

Getting Gabe Right

July 12th, 2014 No comments

Okay, here’s my problem. Gabe Fox has a really dirty mouth. And a dirty mind. And, basically, he’s a boy.

Gabe and I are pretty much opposites in just about everything. I’m a relatively prim and proper person. Sexual innuendo makes my face go all watermelon-colored. Any talk of bodily functions has me laughing awkwardly or quickly exiting the conversation. If I cuss, it’s usually only because I’ve walked into a wall or door (happens more than I liked to admit).

But I love writing about Gabe, dirty mouth and all. He is one of the main characters in my GIRL WITH BROKEN WINGS series. Here’s the thing about Gabe – he has a huge heart, can spit out a ribald joke in even the most dire of circumstances, and is fiercely loyal to his family. He is the light within the murky and often sad world in which his small family operates.

Earlier this year, I was thrilled to complete RISING, the biggest, most complex book yet in the GIRL WITH BROKEN WINGS series. As with the previous two books and novella in the series, it is written from the point of view of Maya, Gabe’s younger sister. There are so many things I like about this book (and I hope you do too), but something about the book always bugged me.

Not enough Gabe (or cow bell).

I’m going to carefully tiptoe around some spoilers here and just say that Gabe is left behind from the book’s main mission and only gets a brief cameo in the first half of the book. It’s the way things had to be from a plot standpoint, but it doesn’t mean I had to like it.

Gabe didn’t like it either.

When I took long car rides or walks around my neighborhood he kept pestering me about it. I started to listen and discovered that he hadn’t been exactly sitting around twiddling his thumbs during the time Maya and Tarren were hunting a new and dangerous angel threat in Peoria, Illinois.

Gabe wanted me to write his side of the story.

We argued. I kept telling him that I needed to start on book four in the series. More than anything I wondered how I could possibly write an entire novella in Gabe’s voice, in his sarcastic, confident, dirty, hyper-masculine voice.

Gabe was adamant, and the boy can be very persuasive when he wants to be. I buckled like a sandcastle hit by a tsunami.

So, instead of writing book four like I’m supposed to, I am currently in the midst of writing a Gabe novella tentatively called RECOVERING. It has plenty of action, keeping in line with the other stories of the series, but RECOVERING is also really unique in that it will offer a look into Gabe’s personal life outside of the mission.

This novella is proving to be a unique challenge for me, mostly because Gabe is just so…Gabe. He cusses way too much and thinks about sex in ways that Maya would never even consider. Imagine how often my face impersonates a tomato while I write.

I’ve never felt as unsure about a work as this novella. After the second draft I printed out the whole thing and read it out loud. Over and over again I wrote the same thing in the margins: “More Gabe”, meaning that the perspective was drifting back into my voice, not Gabe’s voice. I caught myself over and over again speaking too formally, too politely. Gabe doesn’t do polite. He is candid to the point where the TMI line was three exits ago. He just doesn’t give a flying f…fruit about propriety.

This novella is taking much longer to write and edit than I anticipated, and I’m not sure if readers of the series will even like it. Still, I’m glad I wrote it. Not only was it the right thing to do for Gabe, but it really pushed me (and continues to push me) as a writer to embrace a different voice and to understand Gabe on a much deeper level.

He and I are still polar opposites, but I love him like he was my own brother, and I’m glad that I can give him a voice and his own story. If all goes according to plan, keep a lookout for RECOVERING on Amazon and other online booksellers in September. Or you can sign up for my email list and receive a notice when it hits the market.

The Dread Monster Comes Again – The Fear Of Starting Something New

July 5th, 2014 No comments
Young girl, scared

This is kind of what I feel like every time I start writing a new book.

The laptop is open in front of me, the page white and fresh. It’s time to start the first draft of the fourth book in my Girl With Broken Wings series. I want to feel excited. I want to feel plump with possibility like a perfectly ripe grape that bursts between your teeth. I want my fingers to be humming with anticipation.

But what I feel is a deep, dark, shapeless dread.

The old worries whisper through my mind. I won’t be able to finish this book. My writing will come out stale and mildewed on the page. My characters will spout vapid dialogue and be as colorful, as deep as shadows.

It doesn’t matter that these worries are pointless. I’ve already completed three full books in the series as well as one novella. A second novella is on its second draft. I know I can finish this book. I know my talent won’t shrivel up and fade like some mystical, short-lived flower.

So why is it so hard to get started on this book and all the previous books? Why are my first, faltering words always overshadowed by a big, snarling Dread Monster?

The more I think about this, the more I realize that the Dread Monster has always been stalking at my heels. I remember my stomach flip flopping, my throat tight on the ride over to gymnastic meets when I was ten. Later, in high school, my whole body would be tight with fear as the last hour of the day ticked down before a tennis match. We had matches three or four times a week during tennis season and that I enthusiastically made the team all four years, and yet I could never quell the Dread Monster. I could never run fast enough to leave him behind or find a sword to pierce his hide.

Is it just nervousness about starting something new? I don’t think so.

Nervousness is that fluttery feeling on a first date when you don’t know what to do with your hands and words become slippery like butter.

This is dread. A dismal sense of emotional pain, of unstoppable worry and anxiety. It is a growling, slobbery monster that eats light, goodness, and positive mantras for breakfast.

Maybe you’ve felt this way too. Maybe not, and I’m just a freak who gets off on self-sabotage. I wonder if there are other people out there with monsters walking behind them. Maybe some of you have found ways of facing your Dread Monster, of starting new things without worries or an endless pit of doubt opening up beneath you. I have not, but I have found a weapon that works against my Dread Monster.

I ignore him.

I write.

When I look at the white page, while the worries spin so fast in my brain they make me dizzy, I put my fingers on the keys and make them move. The words come, slow at first but then faster and easier. I’ll hit hard parts, and my writing will be as graceful, as smooth as running through sand, but I will buff and polish these areas to a high shine in the editing process. The dread will shrink little by litter and the love of writing, which has always been inside of me, will begin to softly beat inside of me like a second heart.

One day I hope that I can approach a new book, a new project, a competition, or a big life choice with enthusiasm, eagerness, and confidence. But until then I’ll elbow past my Dread Monster and start writing, one word at a time.

Superman Must Ignore Tons Of Crime…And That’s Okay

June 25th, 2014 No comments

Is this guy a total D-bag who doesn't stop enough crime?

Who wouldn’t want to be Superman?

The Man of Steel comes with buns, thighs, and abs of steel, not to mention a lock of hair that always curls perfectly on your forehead. Wouldn’t it be grand to soar through the sky (like a bird, like a plane) and to never, ever have to feel vulnerable except when that pesky Kryptonite enters into the picture?

Well, here’s the thing. I wouldn’t want to be Superman (or Supergirl if we’re being gender specific). It’s not just because that form fitting outfit looks tight enough to give some “super” wedgies or even the thought of seeing everyone’s pores and hearing their bodily functions in High Def.

It’d be the pressure.

If you’re neigh invulnerable, can shoot lasers from your peepers, and blow a hurricane when you sneeze (except you never sneeze because even germs can’t penetrate your awesomeness), then you pretty much have to don a cape and tights or you’ll be a total D-bag. See, guys like Bruce Wayne don’t have to be superheroes. He’s just a dude with a butler, an unsettling bat fetish, a perfect growly voice, and enough money to buy a bat jet ski among other crime fighting tools. Even someone like The Flash could probably get off the superhero hook. He may be fast, but bullets won’t exactly bounce off his chest. It’d be perfectly reasonable for him to…say, decide to use his super speed to deliver fresh water to villagers in Africa instead of tango with a crazy villain called Captain Boomerang (an actual villain, look it up). I wouldn’t fault him for that.

But Superman.

Superman is different. If he doesn’t fight crime and save the world, then talk about squandering your genetic legacy. Talk about letting the peoples of the world down.

For a long time I resented Superman, because I felt like he wasn’t being all the hero he could be. What’s a guy who can circumvent the globe during his morning jog doing bumbling around in a suit and glasses as Clark Kent? Didn’t he realize that women were getting raped, children molested, soldiers killed, protestors imprisoned, and governments overthrown while he was typing up a fluff piece for the Daily Planet about five tips to sizzle away belly fat?

I wondered, how many lives could he have saved from an earthquake in Pakistan, a tsunami in the Philippines, or a tornado in Missouri he if had done his little phone booth number instead of grabbing a hot dog for lunch with Lois Lane?

For years and years I was mad at Superman for so callously ignoring all the need around him. For having a life.

And then it hit me…Superman deserves to have a life. Why am I asking him to play the untouchable, majestic superhero every second of every day when I’m too lazy to walk my empty yogurt cup to the recycling container in the laundry room?

Superman spends his nights hanging bank robbers from street lamps (or is that Spiderman?), battling horrendous aliens from outer space (does anyone else think that every citizen of Metropolis should have severe PTSD by now?), and preventing Lex Luther from taking over the world (again).

I gave $25 to Kiva.org…two years ago.

So yes, Superman must make a clear decision to ignore tons of crime…but so do we. Bad things happen every day around the world, in our country, even in our small little spheres of influence, and you know what most of us do? We play Clark Kent, hiding behind our glasses, eating a hot dog with Lois, and waiting for Superman to save us all.

The moral of this story is not to start sewing our pajamas into a superhero outfit. It’s just this – I have mad respect for Superman. Not the fictional character – but all the Supermans in this world who commit their time and energy to making a positive contribution in whatever form that might take (Here’s a little something to warm up your heart). We can choose to make the world a little better, we can choose to cause harm, or we can blend in with the majority and do nothing at all.

Inevitable Book Tie-In

I may not be a Superman just yet, but at least I can create some Supermen on the page in my Girl With Broken Wings series that feature three vigilante protagonists. My characters live dark, dirty, obscure lives as they fight a secret war against genetically altered super humans. My characters aren’t bullet proof and that vulnerability is what makes them truly heroic.

Now, if you’ll excuse me…I need to go dig that yogurt container out of the trash.

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